Mar 18, 2011

A Loner-in-the-world

Imagination consigns one to utter connectedness 
with all else... even amidst apparent isolation
I am hard pressed to conjure a metaphor that might sufficiently and poignantly embody the existence of a loner, a loner in the world, in the strange world of socially actuated indivuduals; 

...a stray note in a harmonic symphony, a system out of sync with the rythm of things around it, an outsider 'peeping in' on socieity, anxious occupant of the vantage point in a solipsistic inner world... perhaps!! 

How married couples without children struggle to anchor thier social intercourse with other couples who have and are preoccupied with children; how an individual who does not marry suddenly runs out of common ground with those around him as they all get hitched; how a student dropping year after school experiences a lessening camaradrie with friends already in college; ...that i reckon is somewhat how a loner feels in the company of those used to having enduring personalized social relationships. 

Just as parent-talk made only idiosyncratic sense to children, leftist talk did to the rightist, scinence-talk to the artist, idealistic-talk to the pragmatist... social talk might make only non-intuitive sense to the loner, even though be it so that he or she fully comprehends it, understands it... just that he or she does not wish to organically partake in it... does not experience life as that!!

He is not self-centred, not ego-maniacal, not delusional neccessarily. He need not be disordered, dysfunctional or pathological. It is quite plausible, and perhaps often the case, that he internalises the social experience of existence on a different ontological register. His representations of other people, and other peoples' relations to other people, are logical, rational, dry, un-dramatic, un-romantic, un-fuzzy but completely empathetic, sincere, honest and imbued with a certain order, structure, function.

He struggles to be personal, with even himself. De-personaliosation of the experience of being alive, being stuck in a third-person narrative of his own life.. is the constant cognitive condition that attends all his interactions with others. Quite expectedly, in addition to the self, this impersonality is extended to all social  representations, all 'others'. When the 'I' itself is experienced as an abstract mental object, then 'he' 'she' 'they' cannot be but abstract mental objects... perhaps the loner is nothing but most honest in relating to others 'object-ively' as that is how he relates to himself... the only way he knows.

A loner too is a social creature.. and as much as anyone else if not more. In fact, the intensity of his social participation, measured by the expanse of imagination devoted to it, is far more than what is ordinarliy elicited among others. The world inside his head is richly populated by myriad illustrations, impressions, descriptions and models of other people... many scripts of social situations... a running record of how life is how it might be and how it ought to be.

What does become of him? what of such a life? why not he be in mellifluous accordance with all else? He already is. He really is!!! His relation to self and others is as fullfilling as profound as honest as is any other. it therefore is as valid as worhty of respect as real as any other. He is no insecure misanthrope in conflict over his identiy, far from it. he is thoroughly and utterly in love with humanity, so much so he constantly reaches out and attempts to connect with it disregarding the superficialitiy of personalities individualties and normalities.


saurav said...

very well written.
Though this is somewhat my feelings at the moment. It can only be a Coincidence that i came across this article at this point of time.
Thanks man for dis post,

Siddharth Kaushal said...

Hey Saurav.. thank you for reading and acknowledging it. you are most welcome to keep reading and commenting as you like. take care. Sid

Anonymous said...

A loner lives in a perpetual paradox.She,very aware of her identity; is always seeking out to the world outside and at the same time she feels like a misfit admist the supeficiality, of the human soceity. She wants to be in it and yet sees the futility of it. Thus she remains a loner all along. :)

Subramanian said...

I missed this Siddharth and this describes me completely,this is the best description of myself.

Siddharth Kaushal said...

hey.. bro... thanks for saying that. i am glad you related to it. i relate to it too.. and i completely understand what you mean by it. also.. thanks for commenting... it lets me know that i'm being sincere and honest in what i write.

Krithika said...

Words out of my mouth-what a stimulating read!! Loved it!!

Krithika said...

AND BTW, Siddarth-I don't know you but want you to know that you are not alone!!!;-)

Siddharth Kaushal said...

Thank you Krithika. Your words are reassuring and comforting. I am gratified (and fascinated) that one can (and one does) relate so fundamentally and deeply to an unknown individual.

Keep visiting and commenting. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Some souls cant even handle the responsibility to care, an occasion provided and a behaviour expected, because of there insecurity. its not that they dont want to care, but there tendency and immaturity spoil thing.whatever they try result into a mess.Its better to stay away ( or forget ) such inferior souls who dont deserve the attention.It can hurt in the beginning when the feeling are true, but the sensible act will result into long term happiness. such people shoud be deleted from ideation rather than craving for enchantment

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